Happy Tuesday! I had a chance to purchase something wonderful BUT I missed out! I just didn’t think over the pros and cons fast enough or seriously enough and so I decided to say NO one hour before the deadline of deciding. I made a list of pros and cons and talked it over with my family in great detail. I asked them questions and they asked me questions to see how much I really wanted this purchase. Honestly, I just didn’t feel an overwhelming YES…at first! Did I overthink it? YES!
Has this happened to you before? You think about a decision for so long, you make it, but then you wish you could reconsider your choice! I call it “non-buyer’s remorse”. The reality for me was that time was up and there was no option for saying yes later. So many feelings: regret, disappointment, remorse, self-doubt, and anger. OUCH! The big question is “How do you react to these feelings in a more productive way so that you can learn from your mistakes?”
Well, I used to let it eat me up inside and drain my energy when I missed out on something as a result of my own thinking and choices. That never served me well and it usually lasted a long time. So, my new strategy is to own the feelings from making a regretful situation and to allow myself to “feel the feels” and to own what I did. I usually give myself a set amount of time to work through this part and to allow myself to face what I was going through. This time, I gave myself 24 hours to think it over and to feel disappointed, remorseful, regretful, angry, and sorry. I also reminded myself that it was not the end of the world and that there was a lesson(or two) to learn.
So, the next step for me is to ask myself what I would do differently next time if the same situation happened again. I actually make a list of what I did and what I would do differently. It helps me to see the words on paper. I am careful to be kind to myself and to flip negative thoughts to be more positive. Was this decision the absolute worst one in my life? Absolutely not! Could I have said YES instead of NO and that would have been a good choice? I do think so! Once I wrote down how I could learn from this by doing things differently next time, it sure did seem obvious that I was waiting for the decision to be a perfect one and for everything to line up so neatly, which I do know is not possible! Nothing will ever be perfect, so you just have to do your best! Life is quite messy!
I challenge you this week to walk through one medium sized or big decision with a different approach so that you can make the best possible choice based on what you choose to think, the feelings that come from those thoughts (which you fully control!), and what you do about it! The best part is that you are in the driver’s seat no matter how challenging a decision feels! Decide something on purpose and you can feel at peace with it! Give it a try…I will the next time another opportunity comes my way! That’s how we learn!
You’ve got this!