Happy Tuesday! Last week, we talked about the “STAY IN YOUR LANE” strategy. How did that resonate with you? Did you try it? If so, how did that change your stress and overwhelm levels? To follow up on that mindset shift, I’d like to offer you another one of my favorite strategies: “CARE BUT NOT CARRY”. When we take on other people’s worry, stress, and overwhelm to an excessive point, it weighs us down and zaps our own happiness, peace, and energy. Even if our heart is in the right place, we still feel the effects of carrying other people’s problems. 


I’ve got such a great visual for this one! Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking through an airport pulling one suitcase behind you…just one that is yours. Keep picturing yourself walking to your gate and picking up more suitcases along the way…one by one. By the time you reach the gate, your own suitcase is buried underneath everyone else’s and they are all so heavy for you to pull. In fact, it’s too much for you and has you in a stressful state of mind at this point. 


You might wonder how that happened and why you let it happen, right? It’s such a good thing to examine a situation and to figure out what happened so that you can choose differently next time. How do I care but not carry others’ burdens, especially when I do care about others and I have a kind heart? You can do both and still keep your own stress level low. When someone shares a struggle with you, you can genuinely listen and offer your support. The difference is offering your support in a way that works for you. For example, offering a friend who is struggling with a homemade dinner on a night that works for you is so much better than offering to bring her dinner every night next week without considering your schedule and obligations. Think before you offer so that your offer is genuine and will not create stress for you! 


Also, we often carry other people’s stress when we don’t need to. Listen, be compassionate, offer support, pray for that person, and focus back on your own life. You can be compassionate to others without letting it overtake your life. It’s a boundary strategy that protects your mental and physical energy supply while still being a caring human.


So, I challenge you this week to CARE BUT NOT CARRY in a loving way to others and to yourself. The result is more energy and empowerment for you to focus on what you need inside and out! Give it a try and you might be surprised how you can be both loving and caring with this new boundary! Have an empowered week!


You’ve got this!




Happy Tuesday! Today I’m sharing one of my favorite coaching strategies of all time: STAY IN YOUR LANE. I hear a common struggle from clients on a regular basis: I’m exhausted from everyone else’s “stuff”. Yes, it is so easy to feel pulled here and there from everyone else’s stress, concerns, and life. On a regular basis, clients confess their over involvement in everyone else’s life, whether it be by being in the know, FOMO (fear of missing out) or over concern. When it feels like this is a struggle, you are right; it is! Most of the time when you recognize that it’s sucking your energy, it’s the perfect time to do something about it. Like I always say, you can’t control what happens to you (=circumstance), but you CAN control how you react (=thoughts, feelings & actions).


For example, say that you’re trying to lose weight and have made up your mind to make some small but important changes to get to your goal (which is the best way to do it!). At work, you’re doing all of the things to get weight loss results BUT you notice that a few coworkers are losing weight faster than you (so you think) and you now feel left behind and less confident in your skills. This is a classic example of when to gently remind yourself to “STAY IN YOUR LANE”. It simply means to mind your own business and do what is best for you. By cutting out the brain chatter of not doing enough, not doing what everyone else is doing, and not going along with everyone else, your goals will be clearer and more specific. Therefore, you will keep your focus on yourself.


“STAY IN YOUR LANE” is a critical strategy for improving focus and concentration, respecting your goals and intentions, and saving energy for what is important to you: YOUR HEALTH. Just like driving a car in traffic, you need to stay in your lane to arrive at your destination safely. Picture yourself in your dream car with both hands on the wheel in 4 lanes of traffic going 70 miles per hour and realize how important it is to stay in your lane… literally! 


This week, try the “STAY IN YOUR LANE” strategy and let me know how it went in the comments. I’m pretty sure you’ll learn how to catch yourself and get back in your lane when overwhelm and stress come to visit your brain. As always, YOU are in the driver’s seat of your own life! Bon voyage!


You’ve got this!



Happy Tuesday! Have you chosen a health goal yet? If so, did you take one small step to get started? That’s all it takes! If not, what are you waiting for?


This week during a session with a client, I was reminding her to be her own cheerleader and to not wait for others to notice her progress and to compliment her. She kept saying how disappointing it is that no one compliments her weight loss and that no one has noticed. For her, she thought that no one noticed and no one cared because that is how she chose to see it. I asked her if she had considered that people are preoccupied with life and navigating through the pandemic and simply may not have taken time to look beyond their own lives, which has NOTHING to do with her at all. She paused and considered that was very possible. I also then asked her why people’s opinions of her mattered so much! WOW! What a thought! I always say that people’s opinions of you are none of your business. That is a game changer!


The bigger piece to her frustration was something that we dove into a little deeper. The more she talked and the more I listened, it was crystal clear to her that it’s got to be up to her to be her own cheerleader. She has that responsibility. She has the power to make that happen. People spend most of their lives looking for validation and acceptance by being complimented and praised. We all want to belong and to be loved, no matter what group we are in; that’s part of being human! So, how would it change your perspective if you cheered on yourself with love and pride? How would it feel if you didn’t waste time waiting for a compliment from someone other than yourself? How would it feel if you praised yourself first before others did? I want to offer this strategy this week to see how it reframes the way you expect acknowledgement from others. 


Does this sound familiar to you? Do you feel disappointed and defeated when you look great and no one notices? Do you expect others to compliment you? How do you feel when you think someone hasn’t noticed you? These are important questions as you start to see yourself as your most important cheerleader. After all, how you treat yourself is how others see you as wanting to be treated. What an AHA moment!


Cheer loudest and first for yourself and see what happens this week! You’re worth it!


You’ve got this!




Happy first Tuesday of 2022! This month, I will offer you one action step and one mindset shift each week to help you jumpstart your 2022 health goals! I’m a firm believer in one small step at a time in order to reach your goals! Our brains like information in smaller chunks and will remember habits and patterns more easily that way!


This week, think about your intentions with your sweets and sugar! Are you giving them up all together or are you cutting back? Both ways can work depending on your motivation, determination, and decision making. It’s up to you! There is never only ONE way to do something, so do what will work for you!


If you have decided to reduce the number of sugary treats that you’ll be eating, I’d like to offer my concept of SWEET SATURDAY. When my son, Matthew, was young, he did not get very many sugary treats most of the time. It was easy to decide what he could or could not eat then based on what we allowed. As he got older, it got harder to keep up with, especially once he went to school where treats were offered as “normal” rewards and celebrations. To help regulate his sugar intake for the sake of his health, not as deprivation, I created the idea of SWEET SATURDAY. The guidelines were easy: no sugary treats, desserts, etc. during the week and ONE treat was okay on Saturday. I know that I got some criticism for it, but it ended up being a very good learning experience as well as a healthier alternative. It introduced the power of choice and the excitement of anticipation. Matthew was very selective with his one treat per week and learned how to make choices with quality of food in mind. It became something to look forward to instead of taking for granted and the anticipation of it was something to really look forward to. Even today at age eighteen, although SWEET SATURDAY is a practice of the past for him, he makes better choices by thinking about what to eat and when. He is aware of healthy vs. less healthy choices and is now old enough to decide for himself.


It’s a mindset shift from “what I can’t have” to “what I choose to have”! I know that you will find this more empowering which will then lead to longer lasting habits that stick. This week, I invite you to give this a try if it matches what your goals are regarding limiting sweets. Put your own spin on it and let me know in the comments what you did, how it went, and how you thought about treats differently! You have nothing to lose by giving it a try…except extra sugar!


You’ve got this!